Twatter Twitter Shitter fucking spastic cunt site


Twitter. Or Twatter, or Shitter, or something. We have no doubt all heard of it by now. It is a website which you can sign up to and write shit for people to read, while at the same time reading other people's shit. Doing this is known by the cutesy-wutesy handle of "tweeting". But the cutesy-wutesyness does not compensate for the shitness of the site.

And two aspects of its shitness stand head and shoulders above all others.

The most obvious shit thing is that twitter is simply Too Fucking Short. "Tweets", as posts on it are cutesily-wutesily known, are limited to 140 characters. What fucking use is that? More or less fuck all, which is fairly obvious. Oh, it's fine for the mongs who flood the site with Me n my mates got really pissed last night he he he and think they have hit the pinnacle of literary achievement. For them, they probably have. But for anyone who actually has anything worthwhile to say, it's about as much use as a chocolate teapot dipped in liquid dogshit and repurposed as a fish's bicycle.

What can you do in 140 characters? Can you convey any concept requiring more than two brain cells to comprehend it? No. Can you explain why Derek Prodger is a cunt? No. Can you describe the operation of a nuclear dogshit vaporiser? No. Can you provide the details of how Michael Roberts of MNS Media is a scamming scheming incompetent parasitic fuckwad who can't even do something as basic as moving a forum from one server to another without losing the entire database beyond all possibility of recovery, hasn't got the first fucking clue on how to run a website, fucks up everything he touches, fucks up the heads of the people he scams so they don't realise what an evil incompetent cunt he is, and has no more business calling himself a web designer than a diseased amoeba does? No. Can you explain how the HST is the best train we've got and how the railways should be building more of them instead of trying to replace them because of some moronic idea that there's something wrong with them just because they are old? No. Can you convey to someone a comprehensible warning that someone who claims to officially represent their interests is instead trying to censor them and fuck them up because they think their own misguided and frankly dishonest ideas are more important than accurately representing the ideas of the person whose ideas they're supposed to be representing? No. The only reason you can't call it a complete and utter pile of shite is that 140 characters doesn't really make a pile.

And just why is it like this? Unsurprisingly, given the illimitable depths of human stupidity, it is for no justifiable reason whatsoever.

It's so that the length of a tweet plus the username of who posted it does not exceed the length of an SMS message. Yes, you did read that right. SMS, for fuck's sake. Twitter Twatter deliberately cripples itself for the sake of compatibility with a protocol which is not only obsolete but completely unsuitable for the purpose in the first place.

Who the screaming fuck uses SMS these days? Fucking no fucker, that's who. SMS was dead as soon as mobile phones began to be capable of handling HTTP. And nowadays every cunt has a phone that'll do HTTP. (OK, except me. But I'm certainly not bleeding stupid enough to try and use SMS to access the internet, and nor is anybody else.)

Twitter itself provides evidence of this. At the bottom of every tweet is a wee tag that says how it was posted. Via "web" (meaning plain boggo browser access from a PC), via Android, via iphone, via Seesmic, via whatever. So if anyone did use SMS for it, it would show up. And it does not fucking show up. Not once, not one single time, have I ever seen anyone post a tweet via SMS. Because... why? Because NO CUNT USES SMS FOR TWITTER, that's why. Even humans aren't that stupid.

Apart from the ones who actually run twitter, of course.

Who are not only stupid enough to think that people do use SMS to access a web site despite their own website giving evidence that they don't, but are also too stupid to realise that even if people did use it it's perfectly possible to split a long message over multiple SMSes. My mobile phone provider does it all the time - the only SMSes I ever receive are spams from the provider which take up two or three SMSes each. But such a simple solution - to a non-existent problem - is beyond the tiny excuses for minds that run twitter.

The 140-character limit is a particular problem when trying to post URLs. It doesn't take much of a URL to fill up most of the limit and leave no room for any accompanying description. And twitter-twatter's response to this is the whole runny browny-yellow icing on the entire cake of shite.

The obvious solution is, of course, to drop this obsession with compatibility with an obsolete protocol that even people who aren't in their right mind don't use, and get rid of the wank-faced 140 character restriction.

Not bleeding twitter though. Their "solution" is to fuck with the URLs in a manner which makes things shit for the users, but really fucking great for all the cunts who want to direct people to malware websites and infect their PCs with shite. Oh yes, it's bleeding Christmas all year for those cunts thanks to the morons who run twitter.

When a URL is posted on twitter, it is automatically - and unavoidably - "shortened". This means that instead of the original URL showing up, you get some fucking useless shite in the form of http://t.co/ followed by a bunch of alphabet soup. So nobody can see what the URL actually links to, it just shows up as meaningless drivel. There's no way for the ordinary user to find out what it links to without actually clicking on it. And of course if it is a link to a malware site, that's the last thing you actually want to do.

Oh, they "sort" it by making the displayed link text the first few characters of the domain name. Which is, of course, completely fucking useless. Because you see the same link text for google.co.uk and google.co.uk.somefuckingwanker.malware.cn. Not to mention that some third party twitter apps don't even do that much and you just see t.co/pileofshite.

Sure, they claim that it actually solves the problem because they can disable the redirection if it goes to a malware site. Oh, please. This is the same fucking stupid mistake that myspaz made with their msplinks bullshit. It's flaming bloody obvious that it's never going to work. There are millions and millions of malware shitheads out there and they can create unlimited numbers of sacrificial domains. There is no possible way on God's green earth that twitter is going to be able to keep on top of that. The very idea is just fucking ridiculous. Maybe they will be able to disable one or two, but for every one they disable the cuntware distributors will have created millions more. It won't make a blind bugger of difference.

And indeed it hasn't made a blind bugger of difference. Not merely because the idea is unworkable in the first place, but they can't even be fucking bothered to do the blocking they claim they can do. Not only are there still just as many malware links flying around twitter as there were before they brought in this t.co bollocks, they're the fucking same ones that have been flying around for years. Single mom makes $380 working from home and all that shit, click the link and it infects your account and sends it to loads more people... that one's been around for yonks, and it's still around, nothing has changed. Twitter can't even be arsed to try and block the common threats that everyone knows about, we can see that's the case because they don't do it, and they expect us to believe that they're going to block all of them? Do they really think we're as abysmally bleeding moronically stupid as they are themselves?

All this t.co shite does is make the problem worse, because it trains people to trust links they can't see the destination of and click blindly on them regardless... It's exactly the opposite of what they should be doing. They should be making it as easy as possible for people to check the destination of links, encouraging them to do so, and providing web pages that tell you how to sort it out if you do get infected by the single mom. But the useless wankers don't do any of that. They just implement a "solution" which can't possibly work anyway and then don't even fucking bother to try and make it work on the most obvious and simple cases.

All at the expense of making life difficult for people who are trying to post respectable links and actually want people to see where they go... the idea that it somehow makes it easier for people to cope with the 140-character restriction is a load of fucking bollocks. Because instead of simply being able to post a link of which the destination can be clearly seen, you're forced to post a bollocks link and then waste even more space than is saved to explain what it's a link to.

Of course, the real reason why they force this t.co shit on everyone is to make it easier for them to stick their snotty long noses into what people are doing and monitor what people are doing clicking on links. Well, FUCK OFF. It's none of your fucking business what web pages I look at that aren't on your site. Take your fucking Big Brother surveillance shite that helps nobody and fucks everyone up and stuff it so far up your diseased spunk-dripping goatse-esque arseholes that you fucking choke on it, you bunch of unspeakable donkey-bollock-sucking wankers.

Twitter, twatter, shitter, bunch of fucking cunts.

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